iNeed to cry
by romancewriter123
Summary: This is basically about Sam's past & what she's trying to hide. It involves abuse, death, and obviously romance. Please R&R!
1. Chapter 1

Authors note:

Hey there iCarly world. You don't know me, but obviously this is my first iCarly fic. I've been meaning to write one for a long time, but got to caught up in the 'Monk' world.

Disclaimer: I don't own iCarly, any of the characters, or 'Concrete angel'.

iNeed to cry:

I crept into my house to get her pearpod, wincing as the floorboards creaked under me. "SAMANTHA!" My mom drunkenly called from another room.

"Yes?" I whimpered.

"YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO BE HOME LAST NIGHT!" She stumbled into the front room, an empty beer bottle in hand.

"I'm sorry mommy." I shrunk back.

"I'LL SHOW YOU HOW SORRY YOU'LL BE!" My mother launched at me, battering me with the now broken beer bottle, shards sticking out of my skin. My mother threw punches, bruising me & clawing at my face, blood pooling on the floor.

"I'm sorry, I won't do it again." I lied. Eventually she ceased the beatings, passing out from the alcohol. I took a deep breath & willed myself to stay conscious, taking out my first aid kit & stitching up my cheek & arm. I pulled out the glass, still wedged in my skin. _'Time to go to Carly's'_ I thought to myself, crawling to the kitchen for painkillers. I leant against the wall, slowly getting my strength back. I stood up, going to my room & packing my bag, before making my way to my second home.

Carly opened the door, rather groggy & annoyed at being woken up at midnight. "OH MY GOD! SAM!" Carly snapped out of her trance as I stood battered & bruised before her. "WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU?"

"I got in a fight with a biker." For me, lies rolled off my tongue as easily as beatings from my mother.

"Sam…" Carly went into mother mode.

"Can I crash here, Carls?" I pushed past my best friend & hobbled across the room before sinking into the couch.

"Yeah, sure." Carly cooed. "But if you don't mind, I'd like to go back to bed."

"G'nite." I smiled, keeping up my bored & sarcastic attitude.

"G'nite." Carly smiled as she walked back up the stairs to her bedroom.

I sighed, cautiously lying down, working out what position hurt the least. I spent hours lying there, writhing in pain, but I didn't cry. I didn't cry when my dad left, I didn't cry after my mum's beatings, I didn't cry after my sister died, I didn't cry when my other one left, and I wasn't going to start now.

_**~8 years ago~**_

_A six-year-old Samantha Puckett sat on a park bench, crying her eyes out. She had been teased & bullied by the older kids. "Are you okay?" A boy about her age came to sit next to her._

"_Yep," She faked a smile & dried her eyes. "I just hurt my knee." Samantha lied._

"_I saw those mean boys teasing you. It wasn't very nice." The boy observed. "I'm Freddie." He added._

"_Are you okay?" Samantha asked him._

"_Yeah." Freddie looked down._

"_I saw those boys punching you, I can take care of them if you want. My mommy taught me things." Samantha offered._

"_Really?" Freddie looked sceptical._

"_Yeah! I'll show you." Samantha got up from the bench & walked over to Freddie's bullies, slamming them all to the ground in a matter of seconds._

"_WOW, that was awesome!" Freddie stood next to her._

"_It was nothing. No one should be allowed to bully my friend." She explained._

"_And no one should be allowed to be mean to my BEST friend." Freddie smiled._

"_So it's a deal then?" Samantha cocked her head._

"_Huh?" He looked confused._

"_Well, I'll protect you physically, and you'll protect me emotionally!" Samantha explained._

"_Yeah, that'd be cool!" Freddie piped up. "I have some money from my mommy, wanna go get some ice-cream."_

"_Okay!" Freddie took Samantha's hand & they walked up to the ice-cream truck._

………………………………………………………………………

_**~5 years ago~**_

"_Hey Freddie!" Samantha bounded into school, anxious to start her seventh year of school. "Excited about school?"_

"_Hi Sammy!" Freddie gave her a quick hug. "Yeah, I hear this year, we get to use the __laptops__!" His eyes bugged in awe as he said the last word._

"_Really, COOL!" Samantha wasn't as excited as her best friend, but still couldn't wait._

"_Hey Samantha!" A dark haired girl tapped her on the shoulder._

"_Oh, hey Carly." Samantha turned to Freddie, "This is my friend Carly. Carly, this is my best friend Freddie."_

"_Hi Freddie." Carly smiled. Samantha turned to Freddie only to find him staring at Carly._

"_H-Hi, Carly." Freddie stuttered._

"_So, Freddie…" Sam didn't understand why they weren't paying her any attention. "What do you have for lunch today? I have a ham we could split"_

_Freddie was still staring at Carly when he answered. "I have a PB & J sandwich, wanna share it Carly?"_

_The bell rang, and Freddie walked Carly to class. Samantha sat down & leant against the lockers. "SAMANTHA PUCKETT! Go to class this instant!" A teacher loomed up in front of her, obviously displeased._

"_No!" Samantha didn't know why she was defying her, but just needed to release all her anger._

"_Class NOW! Or detention!" She folded her arms._

_Samantha got up & went to walk out of the school, but bumped into another student. "HEY, watch where you're going!" He pushed her roughly out of the way, kicking Samantha as he walked past. She ran out of the school, tears streaming down her face, & made her way home._

"_Why aren't you at school?" Samantha's father looked mad._

"_My best-friend made a new best-friend & some bully came & started pounding me!" She screamed at him, expecting him not to understand._

"_Sammy?" Her mother came out. "What's wrong."_

"_Sammy got into a fight at school, and decided to come home, but right now, I need to go to work." Sam's father left, none of them knowing that that was the last time any of them would see him._

"_Are you okay?" Samantha's mother hugged her daughter._

"_No!" She retaliated._

"_Sammy, you can't spend your whole life being a girl, you need to stand up for yourself & fight back. You shouldn't get upset or cry about it."_

_Samantha looked down at her pink dress. "Okay, but mom?" She closed her eyes. "Can you call me Sam?"_

"_Sure darling. Now are you going to go back to school?"_

"_Right after I change." Sam ran up the stairs to her bedroom & pulled out a pair of black skater shoes, above the knee dark denim shorts, & a skull & cross bow tank top. She brushed her hair out of their pigtails, & applied a dark layer of eyeliner. Sam grabbed a black backpack & filled it with food & the occasional notebook. She ran back downstairs. "Bye mom!" Sam called out, slamming the door behind her._

_Taking out a packet of beef jerky, Sam made her way the 3 blocks to school, just in time for 2__nd__ period. "Carly, Fredward." She acknowledged as she sauntered over to her locker, tipping the contents onto the floor; pictures of her & Freddie, personal items she thought were too girly, and the occasional notebook. "Anyone want this stuff?" Sam yelled out, slamming the door to her locker._

"_NO SLAMMING LOCKER DOORS, DETENTION!" A teacher briskly walked past._

"_Ugh, whatever." Sam rolled her eyes, dropping the empty packed of jerky onto the floor._

"_What's with you today Sammy?" Freddie questioned._

"_What the hell do you care?" Sam remained emotionless. "And it's Sam." She added._

"_Oh, okay, uh… Sam…" Freddie looked hurt._

"_Hey Carls, what up?" Sam directed her attention to the other brunette._

"_Nothing much, where were you first period?" Carly looked worried._

"_Eh, Maths. I didn't feel like going." Sam acted like nothing was wrong._

"_Sam…" Carly started off in her mother tone. "You can't just skip class like that…" She ranted & raved until the bell rang._

"_Fine, fine!" Sam silenced her._

"_Oi, Blondie!" Sam looked up to find the bully from earlier staring her down._

"_What up meat-head?" She insulted._

"_You're blocking my locker!" He went to shove her aside, but she shoved back harder, leaving him sprawled in the middle of the hallway._

"_Yeah, well next time, wait for me to move!" Sam yelled, walking over him to her next class._

All that changed when my dad left, my mom started drinking, blamed it all on the three of us. She abused us half to death, going the whole way with Katie. Melanie escaped to her fancy boarding school, but I had no where to go.

………………………………………………..

"CARLY!" I opened my eyes after a sleepless night. Ugh, what do they want? I thought to myself.

"Mhm?" I opened the door.

"Oh, hey thing." Freddork pushed past me, barely acknowledging my existence. Again.

I rolled my eyes. "Carly's upstairs," I muttered. "Probably still sleep-"

At that moment Carly bounded down the stairs. "Morning guys!" She greeted, exceptionally chirpy.

"Hey Carly, you look nice today." Fredward smiled over at her.

"Carly will never love you." I commented, rummaging through the fridge for food. Ham, SCORE!

"We should get to school, don't want to be late." Fredward held open the door for Carly, it slamming in my face before I had a chance to exit.

I ripped open the door, wanting to pummel the dork, but my stitches prevented me. I could have stayed home, but there was an assignment due today. Usually I wouldn't bother, but it was music (my favourite class).

………………………………………………………………..

"Alright class, time for you to present your songs." Mrs Carey clapped her hands together, & gave a phoney smile to the class. "First up, Carly Shay."

"Good luck, Carls" I smiled at her, drifting off into the sleep I didn't get last night…

"SAM!" I jerked awake, ignoring the spasms that were shooting down my back.

"What?" I asked, annoyed.

"It's your turn to present." Mrs Carey sounded exasperated. "I've been calling you for 5 minutes."

"Ugh, fine." I stood up, trying to act nonchalant as I picked up a guitar & sat before the class.

"This should be good, probably some nursery rhyme." The dork smirked. I rolled my eyes and began to strum.

_She walks to school with the lunch she packed _

_Nobody knows what she's holding back _

_Wearing the same dress she wore yesterday _

_She hides the bruises with the linen and lace, oh  _

_The teacher wonders but she doesn't ask _

_It's hard to see the pain behind the mask _

_Bearing the burden of a secret storm _

_Sometimes she wishes she was never born  _

_Through the wind and the rain she stands hard as a stone _

_In a world that she can't rise above _

_But her dreams give her wings and she flies to a place _

_Where she's loved concrete angel  _

_Somebody cries in the middle of the night _

_The neighbors hear but they turn out the light _

_A fragile soul caught in the hands of fate _

_When morning comes it will be too late  _

_Through the wind and the rain she stands hard as a stone _

_In a world that she can't rise above _

_But her dreams give her wings and she flies to a place _

_Where she's loved concrete angel  _

_A statue stands in a shaded place _

_An angel girl with an upturned face _

_A name is written on a polished rock _

_A broken heart that the world forgot  _

_Through the wind and the rain she stands hard as a stone _

_In a world that she can't rise above _

_But her dreams give her wings and she flies to a place _

_Where she's loved concrete angel_

I silently let the tears fall down my face in memory of my other twin. I hated myself for not being there that night. I hated Melanie for hiding away, ignoring what was in front of her. I hated my father for running, for not protecting us, for breaking his promise. I hated my mother for hating us.

"SAMANTHA PUCKETT! This was supposed to be a song about your life. I will not tolerate such lies! Go to the principals office this instant!"

I let the guitar drop to the floor & walking out of the classroom, out of the school, to her makeshift grave. I traced her name with my finger, _Katy Puckett,_ my concrete angel. I collapsed, sobbing. It didn't help that this was the exact day, only five years later, on which she had died.

"Sammy?" I looked up to find none other that Freddie Benson looking down at me.

I stared up at him, my eyes full of hurt & pain. "It's Sam." I spat at him, standing up & wiping my eyes. "What do you want?" I asked icily.

"I just wanted to know if you're okay." Fredward gently touched my arm, causing me to wince in pain.

"What the hell do you think? And anyway, why do you care?" I began to walk away, pausing for a moment. "_It's not like we're friends._" I mimicked, limping off & leaving the dork to his life.

………………………………………………………..

Author's note:

You like, you hate? I merged two of my stories into here, so it might not flow well. Please R&R!


	2. Bye!

Okay guys, RW123 here.

I've decided to stop writing, so if anyone wants to take over my stories, go for it, but PM me first. I'm leaving them all up, and free to copy/steal.

Thanks,

RW123.


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